Weapon of Choice

Dear Regrets,
You know you?ve had a unique wedding reception when you can refer to one of the guests as ?the assailant? and wonder if you should post on your wedding website: ?Sorry for the bloodshed.? Obviously, had you known your buddy was a potential homicidal maniac, you wouldn?t have invited him, so you are not responsible for these horrifying events. I hope your friend gets to contemplate his problem with anger and alcohol in a small cell for several years. Often I hear of brides and bridesmaids who will never speak to each other again over some silly hurt feelings during the wedding frenzy. But when one wedding guest attempts to sever the carotid artery of another, that?s sufficient reason to cut the former out of your life forever. Sure, this guy could use the money he gave you for his legal defense, but he doesn?t deserve it. I assume your wife?s cousin has medical bills and other expenses associated with the attack. You could say to the cousin that you appreciate his check, but in light of what happened, you would prefer not to cash it. You could add that you?d like to use some of your wedding gift money to help pay for his recuperation. (Do not reveal the source of your largesse.) If he accepts the offer, fine. If not, feel free to pocket the cash. You do not have to apologize to the rest of your guests. However, when you write your thank-you notes, you could open by saying something like, ?I imagine ours is a wedding party you?ll never forget.?

Source: http://feeds.slate.com/click.phdo?i=b7e75258efaae84c1c1bb423f7066e7b

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